A Toast

"There is no shame in being afraid. Hell, we're all afraid. What you've got to do is figure out what you're afraid of."

Being able to communicate effectively is a vital life skill and should not be overlooked. Speaking is such an important aspect of our life isn't it. To communicate well is to understand and be understood. It's basically a MIRROR. If our skin reflects the inner functioning of our body, our Speech reflects our inner character. And this is certainly not restricted to Toastmasters or giving some speeches. This is to do with our everyday life.

I am going to talk about the 5 phases/events of my life which have shaped me as a speaker and more importantly as a person. I grew up as a very SHY kid. I was so SHY, that even confidence would feel Shy looking at me. If anybody would come and ask my name, I would just do a 'SHY facial expression'. The only daring thing I did as a kid was going and telling my ferocious neighbor at my father's behest, that her father looks like Nelson Mandela! I was very good at academics but never went on a stage probably for anything. At the most may be for a group song where I would just hide behind others.

"I could choose to blame on my circumstances. Or I could fightback. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world. That's just the way it is."

When I moved to my college, I went with a fresh mindset. May be because it was a co-ed. Probably that's what I needed after all. It was the first day of my college and 3rd class of the day. The Chemistry Lecturer came in and introduced himself in very simple terms. He was Dr. Ronald Nazareth. Soon I discovered that this man was excellence personified. The way he would carry himself and his speaking style really inspired me. His uncanny knack cracking those chemistry jokes in middle of serious organic Chemistry topics enthralled the whole class. He had impeccable knowledge. When he stood and spoke, he would command that respect. I learnt a lot of things from him and would not miss his class for anything. I became a big fan of his. 2 years passed like a breeze and it was the farewell day! They asked if anybody would like to come forward speak a few words. I so wanted to pay a tribute to Ronald Sir. I put all my courage together and volunteered to speak. I do not know what I spoke but whatever I did I spoke from my heart. That was my first ever solo speech on stage and was a steppingstone for me as far as public speaking is concerned. I also had a dream that someday, even Ronald sir would be proud of me and speak about me on a stage.

"It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're 17 and planning for someday. And then quietly and without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life."

Life moved on… So did I!

And before I could realize, I had made some great friends. We all need that support from our friends and they spotted my humor. I started becoming more and more vocal. Started going on the stage and speaking in various forums. I would not miss a chance to hold that mike. Even for the smallest of occasions. I realized I observe a lot — especially people's mannerisms. And their voices. Which was a keen component in stand ups/mimicry. I started imitating folks. My classmates… I used to mimic one of the girls in my class. People would not be able to differentiate. Soon this became well known. And folks would ask me to mimic my professors on stage and the whole audience would burst into laughter including the professors themselves. And then my luck would have it — due to the 2008 recession, I had to start my career as a lecturer in the same college along with my friend Alan as my joining in Wipro was delayed indefinitely. But all this had a positive side to it. There is no bigger test in speaking than teaching notorious engineering students. Test of knowledge, courage, speaking skills — everything! While studying, you study for yourself. When you teach, you study for 90 students. Every day was like a test and this really made me a better speaker.

3 years down the line, my friend Allen was getting married! And he asks me to raise a toast for his wedding. I was like — are you crazy!?!?! His whole family was also like — are you crazy!?!?! His father-in-law wasn't impressed at all. This is usually done by some senior person in the church or a well-known person. Someone whom everybody knows. But he chose me for some reason! Now this was a different ball game for me! Speaking at weddings is not easy. All eyes are going to be on you. And there is just 0 margin for error. People are going to be scrutinizing every word of yours.

But fortunately it paid off! And the first one to come and compliment was the Bride's father himself. This just increased my confidence many folds — especially in my impromptu speaking. After some years it was my turn to get married! And guess who raised the toast for my wedding. Dr. Ronald himself. He still remembered every word of my farewell speech I gave 12 years back!

"Most of our lives are a series of images, they pass us by like towns on a highway. And yeah after 10 years I was here in Fidelity…"

My colleague and a good friend Mathew Pylichen insisted I join this Toastmasters club he was part of. He was very persistent on me joining, and I was very persistent not to! I finally gave in and came for this first time as a guest. I remember giving something called a Table Topic speech in my first meeting as a guest. Thought I'll never come again. But I did! Rest as they say is history over here. This club brought a method to my otherwise casual speaking. Most of the times I love impromptu unprepared speeches, however I realized to give the best speeches you must be prepared. Winning the humorous speech contest was a great honor for me.

"A moment which stunned as it happened, and I knew this instance is more than a fleeting image. That moment and many such moments here in this club, will live with me forever."

Well this is just the beginning; I plan to continue on my humorous pathways here and dream to do some stand ups someday. Just like I discovered my strength here. I hope you discover yours. We all have so many dreams, isn't it? And in order to achieve those dreams:

"Don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, cause most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take us? The road is long and, in the end, the journey is the destination."